Things I wish I Knew before turning 21 for my Mental Health

Hey there!

I just wanted to take this moment to share some thoughts with you about life, growing up, and everything in between. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that everyone walks a unique path. No two journeys are ever the same, and that’s what makes life so beautiful.

Growing up, I was incredibly fortunate. I had the love and support of amazing parents and grandparents who gave me everything they could. They taught me values I still hold close today: kindness, perseverance, and the importance of family. For a long time, I thought life would always feel that simple, that secure.

But as I matured, life started to unfold in ways I never expected. I realised that our teenage years— those bright, messy, confusing years from 13 to 20 —are golden opportunities. They are seasons meant for learning, exploring, and making mistakes. They are moments when you can dream without limits, fall without fear, and get back up with a smile. It doesn’t matter if school or busy schedules get in the way; those years are precious, and every experience during that time shapes who we become.

As we grow older, though, the rhythm of life begins to shift. Responsibilities come knocking—whether it’s school, work, or starting a family. Slowly but surely, we have less time, and our money and energy are pulled in more directions than ever before. It’s not a bad thing; it’s just part of life’s natural evolution.

But with that, sometimes a quiet longing stirs in us. We find ourselves looking back, whispering “If only…” when we think about our younger selves. If only I had dreamed bigger. If only I had taken that risk. If only I had loved myself more.

But here’s the thing: life isn’t meant to be lived looking backwards. It’s about learning from yesterday so we can embrace tomorrow with open arms and an open heart.

If I could sit down with my younger self, here are a few things I would gently tell them before they turn 21.

Lessons learned the hard way, but learned with gratitude:

⸻

1. There’s no need to rush into a relationship.

I know the world makes it seem like you have to find “the one” quickly, like it’s a race. But real love isn’t a race; it’s a journey. When you rush, you often settle. And when you settle, you miss out on the kind of deep, steady love you truly deserve, starting with the love you have for yourself.

2. Never beg for a friendship.

Friendships should feel like home, not a battleground. If someone wants to leave, let them go. Love and connection should never require begging. Trust that the right people—those who see your worth—will always stay.

3. It’s normal to lose friends as you grow.

Life pulls people in different directions. Some friends will move away, others will grow apart. It doesn’t mean the friendship wasn’t real. It just means you both are growing, and that’s okay.

4. Priorities will shift—and that’s healthy.

At some point, you’ll realise you want to build something lasting. Whether it’s a career, a family, or a dream, your energy will flow into places that matter most to you. Don’t feel guilty about changing; it’s a sign that you’re building your own future.

5. You can’t go back to the old days.

As tempting as it is to long for the carefree days of childhood or high school, life moves forward for a reason. Growth means leaving some seasons behind, even if they were beautiful.

6. Time for yourself becomes rare; cherish it.

Work, relationships, family—they will all ask for pieces of your time. Make sure to guard your personal time fiercely. Fill it with things that heal you, not just things that entertain you.

7. Prioritise your mental health, always.

No achievement, no grade, no job title is ever worth sacrificing your peace of mind. Learn to say no. Learn to rest. Learn that you are worthy even when you’re not “achieving” something.

I know it can feel overwhelming sometimes, navigating all these changes. Some days, it will feel like you’re thriving; other days, like you’re just surviving. And that’s completely normal. No one sees life exactly the same way you do, and no one feels exactly what you feel. Your story is your own masterpiece, being painted one day, one decision at a time.

So, to you, reading this right now: Be kind to yourself. Give yourself the grace to stumble and the courage to try again. Trust that everything you are going through has a purpose—even the heartbreaks, the waiting seasons, the silent battles you fight inside your heart.

You’re not behind. You’re not lost. You’re simply becoming.

I hope your week has been gentle to you, and that Sunday brings you rest, laughter, and the reminder that you are exactly where you need to be.

Brendan Aw 🙂 (Editor)